well - you did ask,
and you know me!

sound track:

'Howzat' by Sherbet;
'It's Over' by Roy Orbison;
an Iron Maiden track (see sidebar!);
'Bat Out Of Hell' by Meatloaf;
and 'Tit Willow' from The Mikado

it's a good excuse:

for Dave and I to sing our famous duet: Rabbit

dress code:

jock strap and spats*

(*YIKES**!)(**I added that. Ed)

KAZ

the pass the parcel (wrapped in pages from Wisden) (whatever that is)

contains:

Freddie!!
(paying you a special birthday visit)

courtesy of ziggi and murph!

(see, zig, murph got Freddie
to fit into the post box!)

how it started out:

a gift for today only. . .

especially delivered
in a lovely green post box. . .

a trip to Pompeii

(it's a link, so you can click it!)
(it's NOT a link to a trip, don't get your hopes up)
(sorry)

(the image reminded me of Antony Gormley's work)

z knows you'd enjoy a ticket
for a walking tour. . .

. . .in the
Himalayan foothills

a housekeeper

(mel thought you needed one!)

(But ILTV thought "why stop at a housekeeper!";
so now you have a whole staff. . .
Lots of people to talk to. . . And feed. . . And clothe. . .
Think of the bills. "Stupid Girl, Pike." Ed)

mel also wanted you to have
a lovely set of
brand new crayons

she's nice like that!

a kidney stone zapper

well, I'm not sure
if this is actually
what 007.5 had in mind -
but ILTV got a little carried away
on google images!

...

(as you can see from the side bar
where she found a different kind of dynamite*)

(*Personally, I think that's it's a little misleading; she's probably
in disguise - in real life, double oh is a brunette. I know these things. Ed)

richard thought about
your favourite john

oops, sorry - wrong one!!
(That must be ILTV's favourite John. Ed)

try this guy instead:

John Wesley

(ILTV's favourite writer of hymns - she didn't
even have to google him, she had a picture in file. Ed)

have you ever seen this?

from the delightful gordie

grey pubes anyone?

WARNING:
do not, repeat NOT click that link
if you are of a delicate disposition

I'll say no more

(Great. Finally something shuts her up. Ed)

after that,
(well I did warn you)

recover your sense of sanity and decency
by clicking this

which is a wonderful gift
from the wonderful mig

a lovely gift

all the way from
a dynamo
down under!

HOWZAT!!

a raw bat

from craig

straight from the tree
before it has been squashed flat

(it must be true -
he knows about these things)

adopt your own virtual pet!

(ha ha ha)

and also from the lovely z*. . .

a packet of
mustard & cress seeds


*"so that Dave could sow a few every week
and always have the pleasure of picking home-grown food"

dash presents dave with:

time. . .

space. . .

health. . .

. . .and
(close your eyes mel)

a stripper in a
policewoman's outfit!!!

and there was a bottle
of something or other
for the people who like their drink. . .

:-)

we all know you already
own a silver sports car. . .

but mel thought you might like a Lotus
just for the day

and that made me think of a song
(funnily enough!
see side bar)

"Look!" said horse, "a puppy!"

adopt your own virtual pet!

if there's one person who could knit you a thinking cap,

it's stitchwort -

she decided on a song for you instead. . .

(keep your fingers crossed that ILTV's not BVing)

And they called it puppy love
Oh, I guess they'll never know
How a young heart really feels
And why I love her so

And they called it puppy love
Just because we're in our teens
Tell them all it isn't fair
To take away my only dream

I cry each night my tears for you
My tears are all in vain
I'll hope and I'll pray that maybe someday
You'll be back in my arms once again

Someone, help me, help me, help me please
Is the answer up above
How can I, how can I tell them
This is not a puppy love

the beep
adopted this
virtual willow tree
for you

(I wonder what murph's mission statement is?!)

anyhow, back to
the plot

we don't know what size your puppy
is going to be,
but the beep thought
the puppy would need a basket -
so here's a selection:

the beep also thought the puppy
would need somethings to play with
and this reminded ILTV
of her black converse all stars:

(it's a squeaky puppy toy!)

(Or is it a toy for a squeaky puppy, I'm not too sure. Ed)

Chaucer's Lady Friend
visited a parlour
especially for you. . .


+


=

but why stop there?!?!?!?

why indeed! maybe they didn't. . .

(ILTV still won't do "rude" on a blog.
Even on your birthday. How dull. Ed)

well, we live in hope. . .

;-)

hungry? like Thai?

(ILTV was going to cook you a full roast dinner
with her mother's legendary roast potatoes -
and all the rest of the trimmings,
even the ones she knows you don't really like
because you'll eat them anyhow! -
but she didn't want to disappoint murph
by not including his suggestion. Ed)

(Did murph suggest Thai Fried or Thai Bride? I forget. Ed.)

and everyone wishes you
a pain free birthday*

a lot of people wanted to send you drugs. . .

(ILTV restrained herself on the images. Ed)


*if only, eh!?

I think mel put it most beautifully
when she said:

"some painless time in a bottle
(he so could use that...
how about a six pack!!)"

(she doesn't drink either
so don't worry about the six-pack)

Would you like to ride in my beautiful balloon
Would you like to ride in my beautiful balloon
We could float among the stars together, you and I
For we can fly we can fly
Up, up and away
My beautiful, my beautiful balloon
The world's a nicer place in my beautiful balloon
It wears a nicer face in my beautiful balloon
We can sing a song and sail along the silver sky
For we can fly we can fly
Up, up and away
My beautiful, my beautiful balloon
Suspended under a twilight canopy
We'll search the clouds for a star to guide us
If by some chance you find yourself loving me
We'll find a cloud to hide us
We'll keep the moon beside us
Love is waiting there in my beautiful balloon
Way up in the air in my beautiful balloon
If you'll hold my hand we'll chase your dream across the sky
For we can fly we can fly
Up, up and away
My beautiful, my beautiful balloon
Balloon...
Up, up, and away.....

;-)

dave's going to be 37 on Saturday

any suggestions to bring a smile to his face are more than welcome. . .